So, I'm going to dig in here. Not all people with vaginas bleed with first-time intercourse or other kinds of vaginal entry: Because not bleeding could result in things like divorce, a public gynecological examination, being disowned by family or community or even a stoning or other kind of public execution, what many women did was fake bleeding. If it does happen, you just clean it up, and then use a menstrual pad if you need to. Can you get pregnant when you lose your virginity? What happens the first time you have sex? Some people who have bleeding will only lightly spot for a few hours, others will have near- period level bleeding for a day or two, some more or for even longer. There aren't any "shoulds" here. It should be something that you only choose to do when a given relationship feels ready for it, including you and a partner having engaged in other kinds of sex or masturbation together before so that you both have a good idea of when you are and are not aroused, what gets you there, and have developed some skills and comfort openly and honestly communicating about sex together, which certainly includes speaking up if something hurts or doesn't feel good, not just quietly suffering in silence or pretending sex feels good when it doesn't.
For instance, the sexually transmitted infection Chlamydia can sometimes cause bleeding with intercourse. For instance, brides were often told how to keep a sponge full of animal blood handy so they could insert it into their vaginas to create the appearance of vaginal blood, or to sneakily squeeze it on a sheet in case they didn't bleed. Some of this was based in ignorance, and some in seriously hardcore sexism and viewing women, and our bodies, as property. This is the reason people tend to most commonly think is why vaginal bleeding with intercourse happens: As with any other kind of sex, if it's something that is in any way painful or uncomfortable, it should be something you can feel very free to stop or make adjustments with -- like adding more lube, or going back to other sexual activities that get you more turned on -- as needed. The first time you have vaginal sex, it may hurt, or feel good, or both. The corona hymen isn't actually a "seal" at all for most people who have one. How can injury happen during sex? In other words, it may be possible, in that their partner can manage to force their penis or whatever else into the vagina, but it often won't feel good to that receptive partner , and often results in tearing of or abrasions to the tissues of the vulva, vagina or cervix. The most common reasons for intercourse being painful are also often 1 - 3 above, not 4. Nobody should have sex that feels uncomfortable or painful. The "tokens" they're talking about are something like a sheet or wedding garment with a bloodstain, to "prove" she was, indeed, a virgin. And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him; and they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: Does it hurt to lose your virginity? Check out this passage from Deuteronomy 22 in the Old Testament , to get an idea of the weight of virginity in history, as well as what the consequences for a woman could be if she hadn't bled with intercourse: In either case, that doesn't tell us, all by itself, anything about you, your value as a person, the state of your virginity or your sexual experience. When it all comes down to it, they've never really been about women at all, but about the way men and the world at large decided women are or are not valuable based not only in sexism, but in ignorance about our bodies. Age can be a big factor when this is the cause. Some women are even born without hymens or with hymens whose appearance is such that you can't tell there's one there at all. When a partner is too rough. And that's not true, either. Read more about how pregnancy happens. For the most part, just like bleeding from any other part of your body, bleeding that comes with or follows intercourse or any other kind of sex is due to an injury. So, plenty of women through history wound up not bleeding at all, absolutely including women who truly had not had any kind of sexual partnership before that time. They have never been based in the reality of women's anatomy or sexual experiences. The idea that women needed to prove a male partner or spouse got what they paid for through most of history, marriage involved financial exchanges and benefits when they married a virgin was the norm for most of history in many cultures, most certainly including Western culture. If a partner is too rough or forceful with their penis, fingers or a sex toy, whether a person is aroused or not, that can cause injury and bleeding.
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