Yet, we rarely avoid such opportunities, do we? After all, none of the above is pleasurable, right? This seeking pleasure and avoiding pain should manifest in behavioral choices. Refuse to stand up for ourselves. An alternative way to view this is to call chronic yet avoidable emotional pain a psychological attachment. Have you ever allowed yourself to get sucked into an argument? A masochist is someone who practices masochism.
Yet, we rarely avoid such opportunities, do we? Acknowledging such attachments, since they are often unconscious, is a critical first step in recovery. Tolerate people who humiliate us. Start arguments for no apparent reason. We can safely call them closet masochists. Hold onto painful feelings. This phrasing suggests that, even though we consciously hate the angst, we are somehow attached to it. Abuse alcohol and drugs. Knowingly spend more money than we have. Emotional masochists rarely understand what they do and why. This seeking pleasure and avoiding pain should manifest in behavioral choices. Tolerate people who reject and demean us. The devout one bull whips himself to shreds, basking in the spiritual high that comes from the physical pain. In my experience, becoming aware of emotionally masochistic tendencies for what they are is a rare phenomenon, even though such tendencies appear to be universal. An alternative way to view this is to call chronic yet avoidable emotional pain a psychological attachment. Run from happy relationships. Defined as the enjoyment of what appears to be painful or tiresome, masochism seems quite a stretch for most people. Refuse to stand up for ourselves. They know what they do and why. A masochist is someone who practices masochism. The pleasure principle — the universal law of pleasure and pain — holds that people will consistently seek pleasure and avoid pain. Yet, we so commonly opt for the most painful one. Recognizing everyday emotional masochism is one of the more helpful things we can do. Emotional masochism — the tendency to find some strange or subtle pleasure familiarity, self-justification, delicious self-victimization — may be the culprit. By writing this article, I do not suggest that emotional masochism is a conscious choice.
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