Sexual incompatibility falls more in line of, for example, one partner wants to enter a sexual "lifestyle" such as swinging, BDSM, etc. It can affect self-esteem, bring on depression, self-loathing and anxiety. One of the top three questions I answer in interviews is "How much sex is normal? That said, in Newsweek noted that 15 per cent to 20 per cent of couples have sex less than 10 times a year which is defined as a "sexless" marriage. Is the fall-out from a divorce really worth it because a couple wants to believe they are sexually incompatible? As well, fragile sexual egos confine a couple into over-repetitive sex techniques and positions whereby sex becomes mechanical and boring.
Here are some my thoughts. When a couple has fought too much about sex -- for years -- it can be extremely challenging to get their sex life back on track. And, of course, I acknowledge and appreciate the frustration, shame and hurt that comes from a marriage lacking in intimacy. One of the top three questions I answer in interviews is "How much sex is normal? It makes couples who are trying their best but not having a lot of sex to feel inadequate; it also gives ammunition to a spouse who doesn't think they are getting enough sex. This, understandably, brings the relationship to a breaking point and many couples come to the conclusion that divorce is the best solution. Ten minutes a week to a better sex life isn't complicated. But in my opinion many divorces over "sexual incompatibility" aren't necessary. When a Couple Truly Is Sexually Incompatible First, there is no concrete definition to what sexually incompatibility means. And understanding their sexual compatibility is more of a barometer for what's going on outside their bedroom. For the majority of busy couples, having a mutually satisfying sex life takes too much work and effort. However, I believe frequency discrepancy is superficial. But too many couples are too shy or intimidated to start a conversation how to make sex more exciting. It is impossible to give concrete parameters as it is a couple by couple situation. There is an easy fix to this type of "sexual incompatibility" but only if the couple wants it to be an easy fix. A fight over something unrelated triggers a fight-loop over the lack of sex. There is a plethora of information every where on " how to spice up your sex life. Where sex was once effortless and satisfying, it has become a mine-field of negative feelings. Not surprisingly differences in sexual wants, needs and desires within a long-term relationship is a confusing topic. It raises the question: Sexual lackluster feelings come across as if the couple is sexually incompatible. First it requires them to get a third party -- like a counselor -- to help sort out their couple issues. The couple's motivation to have sex dampens -- creating frequency discrepancy. Once couple issues are sorted, they can then work on their sexual compatibility. It comes down to whether a couple is willing to invest in themselves, their partnership and their sexual happiness. Admittedly, it is hard to live with someone who is for all intents and purposes a roommate. Sexual incompatibility falls more in line of, for example, one partner wants to enter a sexual "lifestyle" such as swinging, BDSM, etc.
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